I love tattoos. I got my first one a few months before my 18th birthday. My mom took me and my BFF to a tattoo shop in Dayton to get our first tattoos. She is not a fan of them, but she knew that if she didn’t take me now, I would get one while I was in Panama
City Beach, FL during my senior year spring break. She was right. I turned 18 while I was down there and had full intentions of picking the first seedy tattoo shop that I could find. She figured since it was going to happen one way or
another, she felt better knowing where I was going and what I was getting. Before I went, I didn’t really have any specifics. I wanted a “tramp stamp” and I wanted a butterfly. Duh!! What 17-18 year old girl didn’t want that in the early 2000’s. So, I walked into the tattoo shop and started flipping through the flash until I found something that I felt totally confident having emblazoned on my body for the rest of my life. Needless to say, my “tribal butterfly” was covered up by a much more meaningful and thought out tattoo.
About 5 years later I went through a major transition in my life. I met someone at WSU. He really opened my eyes to what it was like to feel
happy and to feel beautiful and wanted and needed. I was entering the unknown and starting completely over with someone I barely knew. I decided to celebrate the milestone with a koi fish and cherry blossoms. The koi fish is known to represent strength and the cherry blossoms stood for beauty for my new found confidence that this amazing man had given me.
Three years later I married that man I met at WSU and I got an anchor tattooed on my foot to represent my commitment to him and our new life. I chose the anchor because we were married on a beach at Indian Lake, so I wanted something nautical. Plus, I viewed it as anchoring down where I was meant to be.
So, after I miscarried I needed closure and I couldn’t think of better therapy than to get a tattoo. I had thought a lot about this piece. My
faith waivered more than I would like to admit after my loss, but I found my way back. I wanted this tattoo to remind me to relinquish some of my control and allow myself to be guided. I chose a ship’s wheel and a compass and the words “guide me through my chosen waters”for my side. I also added a gladiolus which is the flower of August. After about 3 ½-4 hours, it was complete and it was beautiful. When I got to the car, I cried. Not because my side was raw and I had been sitting in an uncomfortable position for almost 4 hours, but because I really felt like I was closing the door and truly accepting my loss and moving forward. One of the most special parts about my tattoo, was the fact that it was partially funded by my very best friends.
For my birthday, my girls got me a gift certificate to my favorite shop so that I could get this beautiful piece of forever art. They knew how bad I needed it and it was their way of letting me know that they are always there to support me and encourage me in everything I do. I love them for that. Now, every day when I get dressed I look at my tattoo and I think about my amazing support system and I think about my journey and I day dream about what is up ahead.
Everyone grieves differently. For me the sting of tiny needles penetrating my skin and the buzzing of the tattoo machine is my therapy. I would encourage everyone out there who is grieving to find their therapy. Take a trip or treat yourself to a spa day. Check something of your bucket list or if you don’t have a bucket list yet, create one. Learn something new or pick up an old hobby that you haven’t touched in awhile. Whatever it may be, do something for YOU.
City Beach, FL during my senior year spring break. She was right. I turned 18 while I was down there and had full intentions of picking the first seedy tattoo shop that I could find. She figured since it was going to happen one way or
another, she felt better knowing where I was going and what I was getting. Before I went, I didn’t really have any specifics. I wanted a “tramp stamp” and I wanted a butterfly. Duh!! What 17-18 year old girl didn’t want that in the early 2000’s. So, I walked into the tattoo shop and started flipping through the flash until I found something that I felt totally confident having emblazoned on my body for the rest of my life. Needless to say, my “tribal butterfly” was covered up by a much more meaningful and thought out tattoo.
About 5 years later I went through a major transition in my life. I met someone at WSU. He really opened my eyes to what it was like to feel
happy and to feel beautiful and wanted and needed. I was entering the unknown and starting completely over with someone I barely knew. I decided to celebrate the milestone with a koi fish and cherry blossoms. The koi fish is known to represent strength and the cherry blossoms stood for beauty for my new found confidence that this amazing man had given me.
Three years later I married that man I met at WSU and I got an anchor tattooed on my foot to represent my commitment to him and our new life. I chose the anchor because we were married on a beach at Indian Lake, so I wanted something nautical. Plus, I viewed it as anchoring down where I was meant to be.
So, after I miscarried I needed closure and I couldn’t think of better therapy than to get a tattoo. I had thought a lot about this piece. My
faith waivered more than I would like to admit after my loss, but I found my way back. I wanted this tattoo to remind me to relinquish some of my control and allow myself to be guided. I chose a ship’s wheel and a compass and the words “guide me through my chosen waters”for my side. I also added a gladiolus which is the flower of August. After about 3 ½-4 hours, it was complete and it was beautiful. When I got to the car, I cried. Not because my side was raw and I had been sitting in an uncomfortable position for almost 4 hours, but because I really felt like I was closing the door and truly accepting my loss and moving forward. One of the most special parts about my tattoo, was the fact that it was partially funded by my very best friends.
For my birthday, my girls got me a gift certificate to my favorite shop so that I could get this beautiful piece of forever art. They knew how bad I needed it and it was their way of letting me know that they are always there to support me and encourage me in everything I do. I love them for that. Now, every day when I get dressed I look at my tattoo and I think about my amazing support system and I think about my journey and I day dream about what is up ahead.
Everyone grieves differently. For me the sting of tiny needles penetrating my skin and the buzzing of the tattoo machine is my therapy. I would encourage everyone out there who is grieving to find their therapy. Take a trip or treat yourself to a spa day. Check something of your bucket list or if you don’t have a bucket list yet, create one. Learn something new or pick up an old hobby that you haven’t touched in awhile. Whatever it may be, do something for YOU.